Why Won't The Cardinals Introduce Mark McGwire at a News Conference?

The team is tight-lipped about when they'll produce McGwire, who has been named the Cardinals' hitting coach.

The Cardinals' brass hasn't given a reason for its failure to produce McGwire, but perhaps here are a few reasons:

1. The former first baseman is completing an associates' degree at a St. Louis-area community college on pharmacology.

2. He's boning up on how to answer questions at the press conference with one of the best defense attorneys in the St. Louis area.

3. He's trying to get Sammy Sosa to show up with him, so that they can reminisce about their epic chase of Roger Maris's record.

4. He's lining up his endorsements with GNS, CVS and the folks who advertise products in bodybuilding magazines.

5. Major League Baseball is looking for late on a Friday afternoon (as the lowest number of readers reads the papers on Saturdays) after a terrorist attack has occurred.

McGwire can run, but he cannot hide. Let's see if the local St. Louis sports media -- who will have to live with him and a grouchy Tony LaRussa every day -- will press McGwire on his past one-man clinical trial testing of whatever substance(s) he used. Or, will the national media (Messrs. Gammons, Olney, Stark, Verducci and Kurkjian) pound him on the topic? Or, will all writers try to adopt the mode that MLB seemingly hopes they will -- fuggetaboutit. My guess is that he'll field a few questions about his escapades and otherwise escape a grilling.

Except on an annual basis, when Hall of Fame voters express some public agony about their votes, only to vote "no" each and every year.