Bizarro World

That's what they should call the sitcom based upon Bob Knight's coaching life that they're developing in Hollywood, but the country's precious few remaning sitcom fans would object because it's not original. Still, what on earth is Coach Knight thinking? And whoever would put the words "fun" and "Bob Knight" next to one another? My bet is that a Google search on those words would come up relatively empty.

Why is Coach Knight doing this? Let's give a Jim Harrick, Jr.-like multiple choice question:

a) for the money;
b) because it's fun;
c) because he can;
d) because he shouldn't, but no one can tell him what to do; or
e) because the naughty little man dancing around on his left shoulder just threw a chair at the good little man on his right shoulder and knocked him out; or
f) because he has converted to the dark side and actually desires to become a part of some media?

Because he's certainly not doing this for dignity, for the purpose of burnishing the legend of someone who has put integrity (in terms of graduating players) above many other things in his coaching life, for the purpose of demonstrating that Lubbock actually can be a college hoops hotbed or for a way to donate the proceeds of what he earns to a foundation to help poor kids who don't play basketball get a college education.

Could you imagine Dean Smith doing this? John Wooden? (Okay, so Wooden never was a role model for Knight because one of Knight's mentors, Pete Newell, was an archrival of Wooden's in the early 1960's when at Cal and won many more games against the Wizard of Westwood than he lost). Pete Newell then?

No, not a chance.

Which makes Bob Knight very hard to figure. Hopefully, this endeavor will be fun for him, as his public persona resembles more a man looking for an argument if not a fight than someone looking for a knee-slapping laugh. Because he's so hard to figure, and such a contrarian, he's probably doing this because deep down he knows it's something that no one would expect of him, he can make a few bucks (and most big-time college hoops coaches find nothing wrong with that) and perhaps he can even have some fun, which, as he approaches advanced AARP status, might be one of his goals in his golden years. Because it would appear that the only way to ever joke correctly about Bob Knight would be for the man himself to crack the jokes. Not a player. Not an opposing coach, and most certainly not a member of his university's administration or a member of the media. Just the coach himself.

So who will play Bob Knight? Brian Dennehy? (No, save him for the next generation of reality TV shows, called "Celebrity Human Sacrifice," where Bob Knight is one of the guests). Perhaps Bill Clinton will after he recovers from open heart surgery. The former President has a good sense of humor, is good in front of the camera, knows hoops and has the right color hair. Craig T. Nelson (he's played so many coaches before that if you fit him up with the right padding he probably could pull it off)? Or how about former Senator Fred Thompson, who would need a toupee but who has the voice of authority? There are many possibilities.

Most of which are unappealing.

Especially given how bad sports-related TV shows have been. Have you seen the guy they chose to play Pete Rose in ESPN's latest venture into docudramas? Did you hear the Aussie actors try to speak like Texas country boys in the ESPN movie "The Junction Boys"? Given the reality associated with those ventures, perhaps they'll coax Woody Allen to play Bob Knight. Or Jerry Orbach.

You can see the writers for Jay Leno and David Letterman warming up already.

Bob Knight as the focal point on a situation comedy.

What's next?

The Jim Boeheim Cooking Beat? (The late Julia Child, after all, did hoop at Smith College in the 1930's, so there is a culinary/roundball connection).

Water Gardening with Bob Huggins?

Creative Origami with Rick Pitino?

Stay tuned.